Liverpool are well on their way to winning the league.
Every day that passes brings us closer to the day when Liverpool fans will become even more insufferable.
You can almost see it already: City fans have become quieter than a Tuesday FA cup replay at the Etihad, Everton fans have sunk even further down into their pints of Chang and the Gerrard slip has already started to lose all of its precious comedy value that it’s accumulated since that fateful day.
Liverpool winning the league is so inevitable by this point that Paddy Power have notched their odds as 1/1000 to win or in other words, the chances of them not winning is 999/1. So, to further heap misery on anyone who still doesn’t want the reds to win, we’ve come up with a list of things that are as, or more likely, to happen than Liverpool failing to win the league.
Dating a millionaire – 215/1
If you’re already a millionaire, well done you – haven’t you got a swimming pool somewhere you should be driving a Rolls Royce into? For the rest of us, we have to come up with more unique ways of getting a slice of the high life – such as dating a millionaire for example. The good news is that dating a millionaire might be more likely than you think, much more likely than Liverpool slipping up in the Premier League this season in fact.
Well, what are you waiting for? Go bag yourself a millionaire, I’ll wait.
Being born with eleven fingers – 500/1
Aspiring Guitar Hero champions, expert Tech Deck fingerboarders and chopsticks piano players rejoice – you had more chance of being born with eleven fingers than Liverpool have of failing to win the league this season. Statistically only one in every five hundred babies are born with an extra finger on one of their hands.
As an aside, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the official Fingerboarding Championship (and if not, why not?), but that stuff is wild. Seriously, check it out.
Falling in love – 562/1
Brace yourselves: every R&B, pop or soft rock song that insinuates that love is easy to come by, love is the easiest thing, or it’s easy falling in love with you, may be selling you a false idea. According to a recent study, the chances of you meeting ‘the one’ and falling in love on a given day is only 1/562. That’s only if you don’t proactively look though – if you actively pursue love, your odds are much higher.
If you think that’s a wishy-washy, cop-out entry then you’re entirely right. I’m just here for those sweet clicks.
Odds of having your identity stolen – 200/1
Identity theft is not a joke Jim. The good news is that it’s relatively rare with only one in every 200 of us falling prey to the cybercrime in a year. Having said that, another study in 2013 says that there’s a case of identity theft across the world every two seconds. So the message is: keep an eye on yourselves out there, it’s a crazy world.
Good luck taking on my identity. All you’ll get is debts, YouTube conspiracy videos and a disappointed mother.
Get away with murder – 2/1
Please don’t go googling ‘what are the odds of getting away with murder’ because you’ll get put on a list. To save you from that fate, I’ve done the research for you. Turns out the chances of you getting away with murdering that guy who always has his phone on speaker on your morning commute is significantly more likely than Liverpool failing to win the premier league.
Free Super Tips does not condone the murder of those who have their phones on speaker on your morning commute. You’re on your own with that one bud.
If you’re a Liverpool fan and you need something to keep you interested in football now that all you ever do is win, or if you’re just someone looking for some excellent and free betting tips, keep an eye on Free Super Tips for tips, predictions and analysis.