We’ve all taken a short holiday while playing Football Manager. You’ve got a pointless friendly against some amateur Northern Irish also-rans, or a redundant Champions League match for a group you won aeons ago, and you take a short break so you can get to a big match at the weekend.
One Reddit user called Lorf_yimzo took this to an extreme, however, and went on ‘Manager Holiday’ for 1000 years on his copy of FM 2015 to see what would happen. It took 58 days for his poor computer to process a millennia. Fifty-eight days.
So what’s due to occur in the football world in the next millennium? Where should we put our hard-earned cash?
The 1000-year FM save – what we learned
First things first – it seems Busted were wrong. People aren’t living underwater. Charlie, Matt and James hadn’t outsold Michael Jackson. And your great great great granddaughter isn’t pretty fine.
It’s good news for
Real Madrid – the Spanish giants won their long-awaited decima in 2014, but before the year 3000 was here they’d captured the centésima, winning a record 108 Champions Leagues.
Sheffield United – the Blades managed to knock Manchester United “off their f***ing perch”, winning the Premier League 168 times.
Burnley – Only one team managed to win the FA Cup more than 100 times, and that team was the brilliant Burnley. The Clarets also won the Champions League 42 times. They also had a record high attendance in 2901/02, as 112,278 flocked to the Harry Potts Stadium – impressive as the population of Burnley is only around 73,000.
Chip shops in Salzburg – RedBull Salzburg saw 523,945 fans flock to its Champions League match vs. Red Star – a CL record. We can imagine the local economy benefitted that night. (We think this is a bug).
Andrea Pirlo – the Europa League’s oldest ever player, turning out aged 42 somewhat ironically for Young Boys.
Arsenal’s Invincibles (and Preston North End’s for that matter) – no team went unbeaten in the course of the 1000-year run.
Liverpool – Brendan Rogers’ boys won the 2015/16 Premier League.
It’s bad news for….
Portsmouth – who enjoyed just one season in the Premier League in 1000 years.
Leeds – not much better than Pompey is Leeds, with just 5 solitary years in the top flight during a millennium.
Ipswich – the Tractor Boys’ 9-0 humbling to Manchester United in 1995 has still never been bettered.
Cardiff – the Welsh club reached 12 FA Cup Finals, losing all of them.
Lincoln – the Gibraltan club didn’t win a match in the Europa League for 996 years. Imagine living before the Magna Carta, staying alive until the age of the iPhone and not seeing your team win once in Europe.
West Ham – the Hammers won the Premier League as many times as Maidstone United.
Want to check out the game for yourself?
The Reddit user Lorf_Yimzo has uploaded it here, for your pleasure.